John was my
mentor, my direct supervisor, and the older brother I never had. We worked
together and traveled all over India
and Nepal
together. He taught me how to pack light; literally packing what I need for 2-3
weeks of international travel in a small carry on (for a woman, that’s asking a
lot). He taught me how to appreciate fine wine, a good lamb dish and Kingfisher
beer (all in one evening). We’ve traveled by plane, by rail, by boat, by
electric vehicles, by bus, by trucks and on foot in the remotest villages of India and those
adventures and conversations remain close to my heart. He also taught me the art of networking, every
place we travelled, John knew someone and in most cases he already had various
meetings lined up from breakfast all the way to dinner.
He also
showed me tough love. When I was being indecisive about what steps to take next
in my life, (grad school or another job) he kept pushing and prodding me to not
just let time pass by; that attempting to calculate every possible misstep; was
keeping me from experiencing my true potential. I
was young and learning the ropes in development work from him, he told
me that the worst thing potential partners, investors and funders can do
is say no; that whatever I decided to do in my life, whatever I focused
on, I should believe in it with all my heart and I should know my
material well, research everything and anything about it, then just be
bold and sell it, the worst thing that people can say is no.
As
passionate and as enthusiastic as he was, bold and unafraid, one of my favorite
memories of him was when we went to Pune India. He mentioned that Iyengar
lived there and you practiced his form of Hatha yoga. This time it was my turn
to push him and I somehow got our rickshaw driver to make a side trip to
Iyengar’s Center. When we got there we saw Iyengar sitting on a chair reading a
book. John, all of a sudden became this shy hesitant person, I had to press him
to approach Iyengar, to say hello. He didn’t want to intrude, so we decided to
go the reading center. There he purchased a book for you and again I told him he
should get it autographed, he didn’t want to and for some reason, a voice inside
said, well “just be bold, the worst thing he can say is no”. So I did and
Iyengar gladly signed the book, he even offered for us to stay, chat with him
and have some tea.
I finished
grad school and am again at a crossroads in life. It would have been nice to
contact him again after all these years to get his advice.
I extend my condolences to all of John’s family. My prayers go out to
all of you.
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